I won't go into all the details of our own home study, but let's talk about the process:

A home study in Massachusetts involves - at least with our agency - at least four interviews, for a couple. One with both of us, one with each of us alone, and the final visit with both of us at home.

You must get a criminal background check and a child-abuse registry check.

You must submit reports from your personal physicians.

If you have had any counseling you need a letter from each doctor/social worker saying you are a fit parent.

You need three letters of reference.

You must prove you have a job and earn enough money to raise the child well, and that you have enough money to pay for all adoption costs. Thankfully, the government now chips in $10,000 toward this, and my employer adds another $2,500.

This is just for the home study. For Guatemala, where we plan to adopt from, you need two letters of reference -- in Spanish, and various other documents that must be certified in various ways.

This is all BEFORE you even get a referral for a child.

So, let's compare that to the biological process.

Stick you dick in.

Notice that nobody has done anything to check to see if this guy is actually going to be a good father or a just a "donor", or even if they are going to hang around five minutes.

My point? Over the last several months I have been forced (not that I wouldn't have anyway, because I'm a worrier) to examine myself and think about what I need to do to be a good father. I am sure I won't be perfect, but at least I've had to sign off on the real concept of fatherhood, in triplicate.

So, you guys out there planning (or not planning) to be bio dads might want to give a couple minutes to this question before you do your thing.