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January 11, 2003

Facades

While sometimes in life you need to put up a false front, sometimes I think I start believing it.

I was doing a lot of thinking this week about emotions and what I "should" be feeling about various things.

Well, I'm tired of trying to figure that out. I can't keep lying to myself about my emotions. Whether I should be happy or sad about something or whether I should feel love or hate or whatever for whomever, I have to end up at some point being myself.

I don't mean that I need to drop the facades, or really change my life.

I just need to stop blaming myself for times when I'm not quite "with the program" the way everyone expects me to be.

There are some things I am just not happy about. While I may not be able to change them, I have a right to feel the way I do.

I may not complain to others, because in many cases they do have more serious problems than I do, and I know many people in the world would love to have my life.

But when it comes to my own thoughts, dammit I'm going to complain sometimes.

Posted by markj at January 11, 2003 07:12 PM

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Comments

I completely understand. It's hard to face down that pressure, sometimes...hard to go against "the program"- harder still to be open and honest about it. Good for you- and don't forget that the occasional whine can be very liberating! ;-)

Posted by: lucy at January 12, 2003 10:03 PM

feeling the need to complain is rooted in real emotions. don't push them aside. appreciate that emotions always serve a purpose. complaining allows us to actively describe how we feel and allows us to become more in touch with who we are and how we feel.

Posted by: meegan at January 13, 2003 06:46 PM

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