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January 20, 2003

Weighted (waited?) down

I feel the need to post something, but in the last few days it seems to be hard to find something to be really interested in.

I guess I have to just face facts: I am down because so much in life is not right now, and I can't do much about it, or much more than I'm doing at least.

I have a job, a pretty good one really, but the notion of "career" has to be put on hold for now. It is do what you are told (with the implicit assumption that if you don't, we have lots of candidates to fill your spot).

The adoption stuff is just a lot of waiting right now. I am getting really tired of waiting. It seems sometimes that I am just stuck in a giant wait loop.

A couple of years ago I got tired of waiting and started to reach out for things, sometimes far, far beyond my reach. Somehow it seems now that all I reached out for, all the excitement, is gone. And all of that period seems like a mistake, or maybe even an illusion.

Posted by markj at January 20, 2003 09:34 PM

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Tracked on January 21, 2003 11:39 AM

Comments

everything you said sounds all too familiar. i keep trying to tell myself that the stagnent feeling is only temporary. that suddenly something will come along and call to me and things will just fall into place. i just hope it is sooner than later. anyway, hang in there.

Posted by: meegan at January 21, 2003 06:39 PM

Stasis. Status quo. Stagnant. I know exactly what you mean....and it is so hard to break through that feeling permanently. Easy for a day or a night and then you're right back there... If you figure out how to move forward, onward, upward....let me know, please?

Posted by: lucy at January 22, 2003 12:34 AM

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