Having not been a father before I can't say what it is like, of course, but while biological parents go through their own sets of fears and joys, they've all seen people go through this before -- if not for real, at least on TV. Adoption is different. Especially when the adopted child is a toddler. Having a baby (or adopting a newborn) you are beginning at the beginning of a story. With a 2-year-old, we've skipped quite a few pages, and we will never know exactly what was on all of them. We'll be meeting a person, with a personality. (Ironically, many people have chosen Guatemala for adoptions in the past because most of adoptions from that country have been of babies, often coming to their new home as little as 6 months old or less. That wasn't really our goal, however). Although I've seen plenty of mailing-list posts about meetings, each one is still different. His foster mom will have already been a big influence. From all we can tell, she has been very good, making the coming transition perhaps even harder for him. And before that of course was the biological mother; we won't meet her on this trip, but probably will when we go down to bring him home. I want to somehow convey to all of these people how hard I'll work at being a good father. I haven't a clue how to do that. (I meant convey it to them, but that statement is pretty much true of knowing how to be a father, too). And my Spanish knowledge is two semesters of night school, and very little speaking experience. At this time when I feel I need the most energy, I seem to be running very low. This extended wait has been wearing me down. We've got guidebooks on Guatemala and guidebooks on adoption, but somehow there's really no guide for this.